Results: Masters of the Universe Classics Top Ten Poll

For this article, I asked Ibentmyman-thing to change his name to Ibentmyman-tenna, and he agreed – as long as I acknowledged the greatness that is the Frank Langella Skeletor. Thank you, Benty!

And thank you to all who voted. With over six thousand total votes, this was another big Top Ten. And, I know there were some characters that were omitted, since the list was based on the figures that have seen plastic in the past. VeeBee has promised some follow-ups for these characters on the Fwoosh.

Okay ladies and gentlemen and He-fans of all ages, you’ve made your choices and cast your votes and now it’s time to see just how well your favorite Eternian champions and villains fared in the Top Ten voting.

Who is the Master of the Universe? Let’s find out, beginning with:

10 – Two Bad – 163 votes

With a single vote, the double trouble known as Two Bad squeaks into the tenth spot. The composite baddie made when Tuvar and Baddhra ticked off Skeletor was one of the more unique looking 80s figures and would continue that trend with the standard improved articulation, meaning this time around he/they will more than likely be able to do more than punch his/their fists together or give somebody a really tight bear hug. What more could you ask for?

9 – Kobra Khan – 167 votes

The original snake man’s 9th place finish means that evil is dominating the top ten so far. But where do his loyalties lie: King Hiss or Skeletor? One thing’s certain, snakes can’t be trusted. Legless bastards. In the 80s, kids across America had their Kobra Khan’s taken away for squirting in school, but a modern Khan probably won’t be squirting at all. Speaking of squirting, this is a figure screaming for an alternate head with the flared hood for venom-squirting eeeevilness, a look popular in both cartoons and mini-comics. Make it so!

7 (tie) –  Horde Trooper – 169 votes

Our first tie is the ultimate army builder. Hordak’s mindless robotic soldiers edged out each of his “trusted” lieutenants for the top Horde spot. With the precedent set by the Palace Guards, Horde Troopers would almost definitely be sold in sets of two, and would probably sell out within five minutes, even with upped production numbers. Skip the exploding feature of the original toy and every fan could have an instant army of dozens of troops and an empty bank account to go with them. But it would be worth it with an army of them staring down He-Man and friends.

7 (tie) –  Stinkor – 169 votes

For the first time in his stinky life, Stinkor is feeling loved! Neck and stinky neck with the Horde Trooper, Stinkor bullied his way into the top ten with odoriferous fury, demanding that you acknowledge his presence. Which wouldn’t be hard -Stinky here would be unmistakable and hard to ignore in any display. As Moss Man was piney, Stinkor would certainly be infused with that ripe, powerful smell that persisted for years and years. Another candidate for an alternate pack-in head, the original repainted Mer-Man head would more than likely be paired with a skunkier, unique headsculpt that was his and his alone. Every fan of the original toy can remember getting hit in the face with the powerful smell of the evil master of stench and he’d make a welcome and fragrant addition to the line.

6 – Jitsu – 189 votes

An Asian dude with a big gold karate-chopping hand? I love this line. Jitsu is one of those characters whose appeal doesn’t need to be “sold,” all you have to do is look at him. Look at him! The perfect blend of MotU wackiness and Shaw Brothers kookiness, Jitsu doesn’t just break boards, he breaks logs. Hell, he probably breaks log cabins. As one of the only original figures aside from Fisto with an extra point of articulation (those jumbo hands swiveled, allowing Jitsu to not only chop down, but sideways as well. Wakkachow!) Jitsu had massive play appeal, and a modern rendition would make a kickass figure and make SamuRon giggle like a schoolgirl at a dance recital. And we all want to see that. And videotape it. And put it on YouTube.

4 (tie) –  Sorceress – 193 votes

One final tie in this close top ten. To break up the overwhelming sausage fest of this top ten so far, the midway point brings the benevolent and powerful force of good that resides in Castle Grayskull. Teela, the emerald-hued Goddess, and Evil-Lyn have provided the only representatives of the fairer sex, and Sorceress is a much needed aspect of the franchise. The lone female figure to make the top ten, it’s clear that despite the abundance of PoP girls to choose from, the Sorceress is the voters’ chick of choice. If or when she’s made, her bio should make for an interesting read to see how the Sorceress fits into the myth.

4 (tie) –  Clawful – 193 votes

Mmmmm… Lobster. Yet another of Skeletor’s minions (minions!) to grace the top ten, Clawful takes the top spot as the bad mofo voters want the most. And there’s no doubt that with his extra-sized claw and monstrous face only a lobstermommy could love he will make a completely badass figure. Plus Whiplash needs somebody to pal around with. This would be another case where a well articulated large claw would be a huge improvement over the original spring-loaded vintage claw.

3 – Ram Man – 206 votes

The top three starts off a trifecta of heroic warriors with Ram Man, the hugely popular – and just plain huge – slow-witted hardhead with the heart of gold. A huge personal want, Ram Man features a unique design that doesn’t lend itself to reuse. Ram Man would be almost entirely new sculpt… and if the Horsemen eschew the static, fused, spring-loaded legs, Rammy would finally acquire full playability and be able to stand tall and proud beside his fellow heroic warriors, headbonking his way to victory over the forces of evil.

2 – Man-E-Faces – 210 votes

Taking the silver medal, the Heroic Human… Robot… Monster should by rights take up three spots, but instead his awesomeness is condensed into a single spot, and what a toy he’d make. Unknown would be if the spinny-head feature would find its way into the figure or if they’d go in more of the direction of the battle armor figures for removable face-plates. I’d vote for spinning heads but whatever direction they take him, Man-E is destined to look great with each personality. The brilliant versatility behind his three shifting faces always lent slightly more play value than the other Masters, and it will be a near impossibility to keep him with one face for too long on the shelf. And by shelf I mean when I’m having him fight some bad guys. With quiet dignity.

1 – Fisto – 213 votes

With indisputable decisiveness, we finally have an answer to an age old question: size does indeed matter. And for the guy with the biggest fist on Eternia, size nabbed him the top spot over anybody else. With his ginormous metal fist and swarthy beard, Fisto oozes testosterone like no toy since… well, since his 80s figure. You can almost hear the clang of steel on steel and see the spit of sparks as Jitsu and Fisto pit their oversized extremities against each other. Punch! Chop! Clang! Booo! (that booing you hear is SamuRon lamenting Fisto’s triumph over Jitsu in the rankings. But in Ron’s mighty heart, Jitsu never loses to Fisto. Ping! Clang! Boioioing!)

Congratulations, Fisto, the people have spoken and you’re the winner of the Masters of the Universe Classics Top Ten! Give yourself a hand!! (cough)

Beyond the top ten:

• Showing great prescience, the voters elected Panthor as the most wanted beast, coming in at the 13th spot. Lucky for you, Panthor was just recently announced as the March 2011 bonus figure. Skeletor’s kitty is on his way!
• The highest ranking Princess of Power character was Catra, coming in at 14th, outpacing Frosta And Castaspella who showed up in 31st and 32nd respectively. You knew Catra would win that catfight.
• From the sometimes tepidly received New Adventures of He-Man, Slush Head was no surprise winner as most wanted character from that property, with the NA version of He-Man coming in only a single spot below.
• Double-sworded pirate Blade takes top spot among live-action movie figures, coming in 24th place with Saurod trailing distantly behind at 41st. Say what you will, both would make excellent figures. As would a Langellator.

And that’s that. Thanks for voting everyone, and keep your fingers crossed that the character you voted for is announced soon! You can discuss the results of this Top Ten poll in this thread at the Fwoosh.

Credits: Cardback images from Duke Nostalgia’s MOTU Box Art. Style guide images from He-Man.org > Mattel 1987 Style Guide.